Sarah

04:41 pm: Quick one...more later
No more drama....no no no no drama.

Anyways,
They found the good stuff in China.

12:44 am: Much to my constant surprise
I've looked at love from both sides now
From give and take, and still somehow
It's love's illusions I recall
I really don't know love at all.

I've been humbled lately and it's a good thing. It's part of growing up I guess. I wonder when I get to stop learning life lessons. If everything that happens to me is part of growing up then when have I learned enough so that I don't have to experience things like these anymore? I'm 23 now. When do I get to be a grown up?

11:50 pm: Arlington
You know...I opened this account a couple years ago and never did anything with it. I would like to try again.



I went and visited Steve at Ft. Eustis this week for Thanksgiving. It was amazing. One because I got to see my husband who I hadn't seen since September and two because we made a little day trip to Washington, D.C.

I'd wanted to go to D.C. since I was little. There's so much history packed into that little place and it is so exciting to me. When I was standing by the reflection pool, I kept thinking that oh....my....gosh this is the exact same place where MLK gave his I have a dream speech. I was standing on one of the most important places in our country's history. Of course the pop culture addict in me also recognized that it was also where Forrest Gump and Jenny ran through the water to hug each other in front of thousands of screaming protesters. Haha, TV rots your brain people!

That day we also went to Arlington National Cemetery. This is where JFK is buried. Now this part of our trip has been on my mind for the past two days. This is why I wanted to re-open this journal. When we went to the section where the Operation Iraqi Freedom and Operation Enduring Freedom soldiers are buried, this overwhelming sensation of "oh my god, this could happen to me" washed over me. I saw all these graves of the soldiers from my generation and the whole time I couldn't get over the feeling of what if. What would I do if my husband didn't come back from this deployment? How would I handle it? Would I stay strong and make him proud or would I completely lose my mind?

We were in this section for maybe an hour and the whole time we were there a young lady maybe a little older than myself, in her late 20s was sitting in front of what I can only assume is her husband's grave. She had his dog tags on and just sat there and mumbled to his grave while taking quick drinks of something in a thermos. I wanted to feel sorry for this woman. I can't imagine what she's going through, what she's went through, or how she'll ever move on. I wanted to pray to god right then and there not to let this happen to me but then I thought, how can I tell GOD of all people who's life to take and who's not. So now I'm stuck with this feeling of selfishness. The whole time I wanted to feel sorry for her and all I felt was my survival mode kicking in. All I thought about was my husband and me. I don't know what to think now. All I know is all the sudden, little by little, I'm reminded about how real this war is.


Liberal Army Wife Moment:
Most of those soldiers died while fighting in Iraq. What for? I believe in our war in Afghanistan. Why Iraq though?